Forgiveness

Such a terrible little concept, right?

Let's forgive, but not forget.

They'll reap what they sow, right?

Well, then what the heck is grace for???

What is the point of praising God, worshiping God, asking God to forgive us and love us. Yet we ourselves can't, no, won't forgive.

Won't we reap what we sow??

Here's the thing:

If our enemies will reap what they sow, why won't we?

Are we Jews among Gentiles? Cuz last time i checked i was Mexican!

That makes me a Gentile.

But doesn't Galatians 3:28 say:

"There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus"

Amen?

Being Christians we are forgiven. But that's because we accept the forgiveness right? We didn't earn this forgiveness, we were chosen to be forgiven! We have the choice to say yes God! I want to accept your gift of eternal life, mercy, and grace! You are my Lord and Savior! Ouch! Lord?! Savior?! Why do we need one of those.

WE ARE JUST FINE!

But are we just fine?

Is our life absolutely perfect?

Well no one's life is perfect, right?

But I sure don't need someone telling me I'm doing everything wrong, and I'm "sinning".

What's so hard about admitting that we're sinning??

Oh. Right. We actually have to admit and take ownership for our actions.

Right,

Because by taking the consequences is enough, right?

Well, when is that going to be enough?

"Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.".

'Nuff said.

My prayer after writing this:

Father, forgive me. I have fooled myself into thinking I have forgiven when in reality I continue to mock. Let me not be foolish and forgive as you continue to forgive me. I love you Lord. You are an amazing, glorious, Wonderful God. Amen.

Ready to seek the truth?

when we get angry at God,just furious,
or when we just don't understand:
why He took someone away,
why He let someone hurt us,
why He "ignores us",
is that all we think about?
God says
"Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep." Romans 12:15
Why would God call us to something He Himself is not willing to do?
God proved He is willing to anything He calls us to do: He said in John 15:3 "There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends."
What did God do?? John 3:16
“For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life."
God won't make us do anything He wouldn't do.
I'm starting to learn that when I am in pain and weeping when I am hurt and wronged by someone or something else, God is weeping right there with me. I'm learning to rely on His word because Romans 8:28 "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."


God is weeping with us when we cry out to Him. Jesus Wept (John 11:35)!!!!

His word is the only thing that is every completely true <3

It's so hard to focus on that Lord, I am sorry that I forget you truly to everything for my good. Thank you for your mercy and grace <3 Help me remember that you are always there when I'm hurting, when I'm crying, when I'm laughing, and when I'm just at peace. You're there when I see you, and You're there when I don't see you (Genesis 28:16). Thank you, Lord for forgiving me for my ungratefulness. Help me seek you everyday, Lord. Help me keep my eyes on you. I love you<3 Amen.



Habakkuk 1:5
5 The Lord replied,
“Look around at the nations;
look and be amazed![a]
For I am doing something in your own day,
something you wouldn’t believe
even if someone told you about it.

What if we were real??

I'm a pretty happy-go-lucky girl typically. My optimism is too much sometimes it's annoying even to me. But with that, i feel as though I have to wear a mask. I'm not the kind of person who likes to go to people, admit I'm hurting, and just cry. I'm going to be real. This past week and a half has been hard. I feel so emotionally drained and I feel as though God keeps telling me to just go with the flow and He keeps opening doors and opportunities for me to grow up. I've taken some and messed up on others. Yet I still feel as though it's not enough. As though my good enough isn't good enough. As though I am here, trying my best to love, grow up, and just be, the ability and motivation to be any of those things I just keep just messing up. I know, what doesn't kill me will only make me stronger and every opportunity I'm given in this life is a change to either grow or be stubborn and stay still. The thing is, it's not that I don't know that my hurt will be turned into beauty and that God's love is the only one that will ever fill that need for someone (friend, family, co-worker, teammate, whatever!) because I KNOW that. i know that better than i know anything else. and i know God is with me EVERY step of the way whether i feel Him or not. whether I want to trust Him or even love Him at that! What frustrates me is feeling as though I can't hurt or be angry at God without feeling like I'd be letting someone down because I'm not being a good example. I'm trying so hard to keep a good image so no one has anything to use against me, but no matter how hard I try to be perfect, someone always finds the smallest, stupidest thing to call me out on and it makes me fall back down to the pit I try so hard to stay away from. I hate feeling like the world is on my shoulders because i feel as though i can't speak or vent or ANYTHING without a lesson! I don't need lessons!!!! I need Jesus! I need love! true Christ love! I'm not going to lie, God is putting people in my life, (and if you're reading this you're probably one of them) that i don't know well at all, but they show me Christ's love each and every sunday morning by looking at me, hugging me, and smiling at me. Our Pastor at Celebration, Matt Brent, mentioned this past Sunday that the one thing he NEVER wants Celebration to loose is it's friendliness, and I completely agree! It makes even the extroverted, happy-go-lucky, hyperactive people like me feel so humbled and accepted. I also have some of the most incredible people in my life that i really should trust more than I do. Thank you for proving my heart wrong. I know you care about me and I know you won't let me down like I think you are. Thank you for being patient with me and caring enough to teach me how to be like Christ. I Love God very much. But I have been struggling lately and I know I'll be okay. I honestly don't have anything else to say.
"Why you gotta act be so strong
Go ahead and take off your brave face
Why you tellin me that nothin's wrong
It's obvious your not in a good place
Who's tellin you to keep it all inside
And never let those feelings
Get past the corner of your eye

You don't need to run
You don't need to speak
Baby take some time
Let those prayers roll down your cheek
It maybe tomorrow
You'll be past the sorrow
But tonight it's alright
Just cry

I know you know your Sunday songs
A dozen verse by memory
Yeah they're good but life is hard
And days get long
You gotta know God can handle your honesty
So feel the things your feeling

And a sadness, loneliness and anger
Let it out, let it out

You don't need to run
You don't need to speak
Baby take some time
Let those prayers roll down your cheek
It maybe tomorrow
You'll be past the sorrow
But tonight it's alright

Just cry
Just cry

It doesn't mean you don't trust him
It doesn't mean you don't believe
It doesn't mean you don't know
He's redemming everything

You don't need to run
You don't need to speak
Baby take some time
Let those prayers roll down your cheek
It maybe tomorrow
You'll be past the sorrow
But tonight it's alright
But tonight it's alright

Just cry

Why you gotta act so strong
Go ahead and take off your brave face

Just Cry by Mandisa

I think I'll be crying tonight, a cry of freedom and redemption, not a cry of defeat and depression. Jesus has me, I just felt like being real. Thank you for reading <3

Don't bury me, I'm not yet dead!!

This Friday I have been blessed with the chance to go to ALIVE with a few of my most amazing friends. My favorite bands (Tenth Avenue North, Starfield, Brit Nicole, Skillet && Fireflight!) Will be there! Am I stoked beyond belieff????? DUH! But the thing is, I have a prayer for that day. (first a little background story...):

Two years ago was the first and only time I have gone to ALIVE Festival. The youth in my youth group always talked about it, and up until I actually got there I had NO idea the intensity of God that was actually there! Not only was I able to watch some awesome concerts, but I experienced a lot of witnessing of God move through complete strangers and be able to call them my brother/sister in Christ without even knowing there name!!! The incredible part was watching a wave of over ten THOUSAND people get saved or rededicate their life to Christ that year on the third day, Friday.

My prayer this year is for the Holy Spirit to be there so vividly that everywhere my friends and I look, we see Jesus in some way shape or form. I want God to break me down even more than He already has, and I pray He touches the lives of those who need Him and who need that comfort. I pray that everyone that is there can look at anyone in that crowd and see them as brothers and sisters because that's exactly what we are!! We've all been adopted into Christ, and nothing but our flesh keeps us from being family!

I can't wait to see God move :)

Matthew 7:7

So you know there’s this thing called prayer, right? Well, it’s pretty legit. I mean, I’ve been doing a lot of it lately, and well, I’ve kinda asked God for some things. You know, good things. And, what’s awesome about this whole “praying” thing and asking God for stuff is He actually answers!! (Except, He hasn’t answered my prayer for a corvette yet☹) hahaha. Anyways. The funny thing about God is He has a sense of humor and He knows how to put me back in my place.

A few sermons ago (5/15/11), Matt Brent challenged us to pray and ask God to reveal our orientations and release us from the fear that we have to follow. I’ve been asking God to reveal what is my next step is (that was part of a sermon a few weeks prior to this one). Well, the funny thing about God is He likes to refine His people. He's been revealing to me not what I should be doing, but rather the things that are sinful in my life. He's been opening my eyes to what I was a slave to (also from a previous sermon: 2 Realities).

One of the biggest things I've struggled with is sabotaging situations in my life. I like sabotaging situations because I like being in control. If things go the way I want them to, even if the outcome ends up hurting me, I'm the one in control. I don't like not knowing what's going on. If I sabotage a situation, then they turn out the way I want them to turn out. Up until this past weekend, that's how I lived my life with my family. I know there are things that happened within my family that I didn't sabotage and those truly hurt me, but as I grew up I started to sabotage the situations with my family because I knew the outcome. I held on to the pain because even though it hurt, it was comfortable and familiar. Up until this past week, I didn't realize how much of a sinful daughter I have been these past years. I disrespected my parents by thinking myself better than them and by not obeying because they weren't the parents I wanted them to be. Could they have been more supportive? Sure, but the thing is, God hasn't called me to be the judge of that. He has called me to obey and listen.

This past weekend I went to Chicago for a day with my parents, my brothers, and my sister in law. The whole way to and from Chicago, I felt my "human-ness" trying to get out. I decided prior to the trip that I was not going to go in with: a defensive mindset, a stubborn heart, a heart filled with the past, or a heart filled with unbelief that God would actually do something. I kept feeling like something was telling me "but your parents have never done this, they've never really cared, they only use you as a babysitter, they don't respect you" but as soon as I started to feel those lies creeping in, I prayed, hard. What's funny is, this past weekend with my family is the best weekend I've EVER had with my family! It didn't take a miracle! It didn't take my parents crying and apologizing! It took me humbling myself, swallowing my pride, and being a daughter. Sin is no longer my master and I beat Him in this battle with God on my side! The reason I say God has a sense of humor is because this whole time I've been upset with my family, I could've been the change I wanted to see and I finally was. I had a spiritual talk with my mom, shared laughs and cracked jokes with my dad, and held conversations with my siblings. It was awesome! God answered my prayers by pointing out to me what I needed to know in order to do the right thing! Prayer isn't this thing where we ask for something and God is just like "okay, here you go." No. God isn't santa calus. He shows us what we need to know and it's up to US to do something about it.

Be prepared if you ask God for something because the outcome will be amazing, but the journey there will not be easy. It's a good thing your partner is perfect! :)

Walls.

So, if you know me or have ever seen me, it’s pretty obvious I’m a klutz. I trip over my feet on flat surfaces; I miss steps going down AND up the stairs on occasion. But even worse, I run into walls, a lot. It’s not something I purposely do but it’s something that I just happen to either run into a wall full on or I just hit it with my arm. I don’t know if it’s my depth perception that just is not good or if I just fail at life. Either way, walls and I are not really friends when I’m walking. The same goes for spiritual walls. Through my walk with Christ so far, I’ve had to face some of my own personal walls: fear, anger, selfishness, pride, etc. There is one wall in particular that I’ve kept pretty high up that actually keeps something out: self-love. When talking about self-love, a natural response to that term would be to think that self-love is prideful and narcissistic but to me, self-love was non-existent and I didn’t even realize it!!! Imagine hating absolutely everything about you so much that you don’t even realize you hate yourself because you’re caught up on other people’s problems, feelings, and lives. I’m not saying that I’m a gossip queen and lived to know other people’s business, but rather I always have put everyone before myself. Don’t take this the wrong way; there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with putting people before you. Actually, I encourage it! But the reason I was putting everyone before me is what was wrong. I hated myself so much physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally that I would do just about anything to get recognition, praise, and better yet: love. I looked to my family, my friends, guys, my job, and my voice to make me loved, to make me feel loved. I was wrong! I go to this amazing church, Celebration Christian Church, in Marion. A few weeks ago our pastor, Matt Brent, did a sermon by starting off with the song “Just the way you are” by Bruno Mars. I honestly had no idea where his sermon was going to go that day, but I was instantly captured by the song and was drawn into the sermon from the start. After he finished singing the song, he commented on how women love that song (and we do) but how we don’t believe a word of it (which I know I didn’t). I could go on and on about the sermon, but I still have a lot to write so just check it out under “believe” in the podcasts section of celebration247.com  The next day, a close friend of mine sat down and talked to me about what God was speaking to him about me and my worth. With our talk, God revealed to me that I had no self-love what so ever. I didn’t care about myself at all and it was slowly killing me inside. Even though I was happy, I didn’t love myself but God made me worthy! God, the creator of this universe seven days, the one who saved his people from slavery, and the one who sent his one and ONLY son to live a sinless life to die for us, made ME worthy. I realized a few weeks ago, that absolutely everything I hated about myself, God loves! His love and grace for me extends from east to west and NO ONE can stop that! Self-love is not bad at all when it’s in terms of realizing we are something incredible to God. An almighty father loves us! He made us worthy and as Christians, we need to love ourselves because God calls us to love how He loves. And if we don’t love ourselves, aren’t we thinking ourselves higher than God since He calls us to love like He loves? We are called to love ourselves just as much as we are our brothers and sisters. We are to put our brothers and sisters before us, but we are supposed to love ourselves as who God made us is my point. The wall that I had up for so long that kept that love away is breaking down. Praise God!

Be transformed!

Romans 12:2 says "Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." I named my blog Romans 12:2 for a simple reason: I want to be transformed! I hope and pray that God will transform my speech, thoughts, heart, and life and I can't wait to write about it here :)