So you know there’s this thing called prayer, right? Well, it’s pretty legit. I mean, I’ve been doing a lot of it lately, and well, I’ve kinda asked God for some things. You know, good things. And, what’s awesome about this whole “praying” thing and asking God for stuff is He actually answers!! (Except, He hasn’t answered my prayer for a corvette yet☹) hahaha. Anyways. The funny thing about God is He has a sense of humor and He knows how to put me back in my place.
A few sermons ago (5/15/11), Matt Brent challenged us to pray and ask God to reveal our orientations and release us from the fear that we have to follow. I’ve been asking God to reveal what is my next step is (that was part of a sermon a few weeks prior to this one). Well, the funny thing about God is He likes to refine His people. He's been revealing to me not what I should be doing, but rather the things that are sinful in my life. He's been opening my eyes to what I was a slave to (also from a previous sermon: 2 Realities).
One of the biggest things I've struggled with is sabotaging situations in my life. I like sabotaging situations because I like being in control. If things go the way I want them to, even if the outcome ends up hurting me, I'm the one in control. I don't like not knowing what's going on. If I sabotage a situation, then they turn out the way I want them to turn out. Up until this past weekend, that's how I lived my life with my family. I know there are things that happened within my family that I didn't sabotage and those truly hurt me, but as I grew up I started to sabotage the situations with my family because I knew the outcome. I held on to the pain because even though it hurt, it was comfortable and familiar. Up until this past week, I didn't realize how much of a sinful daughter I have been these past years. I disrespected my parents by thinking myself better than them and by not obeying because they weren't the parents I wanted them to be. Could they have been more supportive? Sure, but the thing is, God hasn't called me to be the judge of that. He has called me to obey and listen.
This past weekend I went to Chicago for a day with my parents, my brothers, and my sister in law. The whole way to and from Chicago, I felt my "human-ness" trying to get out. I decided prior to the trip that I was not going to go in with: a defensive mindset, a stubborn heart, a heart filled with the past, or a heart filled with unbelief that God would actually do something. I kept feeling like something was telling me "but your parents have never done this, they've never really cared, they only use you as a babysitter, they don't respect you" but as soon as I started to feel those lies creeping in, I prayed, hard. What's funny is, this past weekend with my family is the best weekend I've EVER had with my family! It didn't take a miracle! It didn't take my parents crying and apologizing! It took me humbling myself, swallowing my pride, and being a daughter. Sin is no longer my master and I beat Him in this battle with God on my side! The reason I say God has a sense of humor is because this whole time I've been upset with my family, I could've been the change I wanted to see and I finally was. I had a spiritual talk with my mom, shared laughs and cracked jokes with my dad, and held conversations with my siblings. It was awesome! God answered my prayers by pointing out to me what I needed to know in order to do the right thing! Prayer isn't this thing where we ask for something and God is just like "okay, here you go." No. God isn't santa calus. He shows us what we need to know and it's up to US to do something about it.
Be prepared if you ask God for something because the outcome will be amazing, but the journey there will not be easy. It's a good thing your partner is perfect! :)
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